Uh Baby, Baby It's a Wild World

And, it's hard to get by just upon a smile

Uh, baby-baby it's a wild world
And I'll always remember you
Like a child girl
And I'll always remember you

I'm in a weird place tonight. On Friday a friend of mine lost her battle against bowel cancer.  It took her in 6 months.SIX months ago she had some stomach aches and general pain then a week ago she went into hospice and that was it. POOF.
A big life & a wonderful human, gone. I can't believe it.
She was a year younger than me, she was her mother's full-time carer. She was a counselor and friend to so many. I was part of Facebook group that organised meals and care and eventually visits to the hospice. I didn't feel like I had any business being there because we hadn't kept in touch. At the same time I was honoured to be there as this person was so special. I'd have brought meals if I could have. I'd have sit with her or taken her mother to her appointments if I was there. I feel the need to apologise. 

The last time I saw her it was over tacos at Taco Boy in Charleston. 

I don't remember what we talked about but I do remember her warmth and kind smile. 

I found out today that the brother of an old friend of mine has died. Another young person. He was sick, but I don't know what happened. He's just gone. His friends' and family's hearts shattered into a million pieces. 

Yet another friend, recently diagnosed with MS, had emergency surgery to remove a massive ovarian cyst. 

Another, my age, brain tumor. She beat it thankfully.

Have I just reached an age where people start to get sick? It feels like it's far too soon to be losing friends. 

My mom's friends have mostly all lived a very long time even after a LOT of drug abuse and alcoholism and all RIDICULOUS lifestyles. 

We lost a handful of friends while in high school. I remember two of them making a big impact on me. We've lost a few more since then, including the guy that I always sat next to when we were put into alphabetical order. I don't know what happened, but whatever it was, he was too young. 

I needed to get these thoughts out otherwise they spin round and round in my head. I don't have much spare room in there as it is. 

That's about it really. I have nothing profound to say, I just wanted to get it out. So if you've read this, thank you. Maybe you can even relate.